Guarded Optimism

Chaos Theory appeals to me. The basic premise being that we live in a deterministic reality but the factors are so numerous and entangled that it is impossible to track the subtle changes that affect the world (and of course it goes on from there to get much more in depth, speaking, if you know of any good books that elaborate the point...). What calculus possibly goes into determining my state of mind at any point in time must create equations longer than I am tall. Monday was an interesting grab bag of events and ended with an incredibly uplifting piece of news.

Jerry and I attempted to present the project proposal we created at the PDM & Solid Waste Management conferences last month to Florence, our supervisor. This at least ended in a vague idea of a direction forward to move, but failed miserably on the whole sustainable, community supported idea front. I still have the overwhelming impression that Florence just wants me to sit in the corner and magically produce cash, or barring that, to follow the pattern set my early Peace Corps and present a project of my own choosing and ram it on through for the betterment of all. Still, the fact that something was happening and we continue having those arguments is a plus. Now I start working on a recyclables characterization survey so we have some base data to work with.

In the afternoon I ended up hiking out to a water source they want to develop to supply the Hostel that the Phil Department of Tourism is building in order to ascertain the elevation and if the water would actually flow. This was done on request of the Mayor, delivered in writing with an hour and a half notice to eat and change into suitable clothes. Still, the hike was enjoyable, and while I would much rather be showing someone how to use their GPS unit, if that’s my ticket to the table, I'll take what I can get at this point in time. Horace & Manuel were also good company and I finally got some information on the planned system that I had been nosing about for. As usual, we'll see if I can find a way to be included in the rest of the project, but it was a start.

I think the base of any improvements to my mindset comes from two fronts. The first is simply doing something. I would not rank the morning meeting as much of a success, but it was progress. Something was done and can hopefully be followed up on with the debate continuing in its own non-confrontational, avoidance kind of way. The second comes from having something to look forward too. I remember back to my high school days intuitively finding something to look forward the next day or week before I would go to bed at night. That always sustained me and helped me jump out of bed in the morning ready to face the day. I need to get that attitude back. So, we continue on the roller coaster ride of emotions. As long as I keep moving in some direction and keep finding things to look ahead to, this whole gig can continue to be quite the amazing ride.

Along the things to look forward line of thinking, the news I received via text yesterday was a huge plus. Check it out for yourself here.

Philippine Ultimate Association