Ranting for Life
Some things definitely seem to be universal across the globe. Some of them are those touchy feely ideas of humanity & good will & smiles, but our interconnectedness also brings with it some of the less appealing parts of life.
Where has the SPARK gone? Or was it ever there in the 1st place? Did our ancestors ever feel that drive & desire to jump up & down in the streets shouting at the heavens or do back flips for the shear joy of being alive & breathing & moving & for the chance seize all that there is in life?
It’s the inertia of the human race that amazes & depresses me, or I guess more pointedly & accurately makes me feel so different… isolated… there are so many parts of this world I don’t really belong to. Often I can muster some vague energy of interest for the sake of community & friendship but it never approaches the dim glow of the banked coals of passion lurking in the recesses of my mind waiting for the sudden, subtle, spark to set them blazing again. A book, The Motorcycle Diaries, and the reminder of the life of a revolutionary. A song by Ani Difranco, so full of anguish & life that it can still bring me to rage & tears after 100 plays. Other times it passes as mere background to the more mundane concerns of everyday life in a world & community not of my own creation, but of my own choosing. At least the choice to step off the end of that long pier & land, literally, on the other side of the world.
Even here evenings are passes staring at the TV. Basketball, really bad action movies, reality shows. Afternoons slide by to pool & cards or sitting outside a sari-sari store watching the world go by. I don’t find fault or judge such behavior, its just that I don’t understand it. It is so foreign. I want to feel alive on the planet. To move, to exist, to feel. Not to escape life. I don’t even know where I’m going, or necessarily why, but I want to go!! To embrace life in all its magnificence & tragedy. Not sheltered from it by moving colors & lights in a box depicting how happy & fairytale life everything can be.
originally written 8.28.05
Where has the SPARK gone? Or was it ever there in the 1st place? Did our ancestors ever feel that drive & desire to jump up & down in the streets shouting at the heavens or do back flips for the shear joy of being alive & breathing & moving & for the chance seize all that there is in life?
It’s the inertia of the human race that amazes & depresses me, or I guess more pointedly & accurately makes me feel so different… isolated… there are so many parts of this world I don’t really belong to. Often I can muster some vague energy of interest for the sake of community & friendship but it never approaches the dim glow of the banked coals of passion lurking in the recesses of my mind waiting for the sudden, subtle, spark to set them blazing again. A book, The Motorcycle Diaries, and the reminder of the life of a revolutionary. A song by Ani Difranco, so full of anguish & life that it can still bring me to rage & tears after 100 plays. Other times it passes as mere background to the more mundane concerns of everyday life in a world & community not of my own creation, but of my own choosing. At least the choice to step off the end of that long pier & land, literally, on the other side of the world.
Even here evenings are passes staring at the TV. Basketball, really bad action movies, reality shows. Afternoons slide by to pool & cards or sitting outside a sari-sari store watching the world go by. I don’t find fault or judge such behavior, its just that I don’t understand it. It is so foreign. I want to feel alive on the planet. To move, to exist, to feel. Not to escape life. I don’t even know where I’m going, or necessarily why, but I want to go!! To embrace life in all its magnificence & tragedy. Not sheltered from it by moving colors & lights in a box depicting how happy & fairytale life everything can be.
originally written 8.28.05
posted by george at 1:00 AM
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